Stuff

Too much of it.

I'm still working on getting Natalie's old

room ready to be a guest room. 

I've been procrastinating.

It's overwhelming.

I have too much stuff.

Knowing that, why do I keep getting more stuff?

Because I like stuff.

How does the saying go,

"You can never get enough of

that which you do not need."

Anyway, Gary said we would go out

today and find a bed for the guest room,

so that gave me a little incentive.

I got the room almost cleaned up,

went to the BYU Soccer game,

went bed shopping,

and am now I am up and down

answering the doorbell.

Speaking of Halloween

Happy Anniversary to my husband.

42 years ago today,

as we were trick or treating

with a group of friends,

he officially asked me to

"go with him."

(basically meaning we officially

liked each other)

A glimpse of

my life in 1965 -- 11 years old
(fifth grade)

All I can say, is there are some things

that don't change.

I really don't have ignarnt friends now, though. 

January 4 -- I am quite a worrier.  Every time anyone goes any where I am always afraid they will get in a wreck.  Daddy has to go to work tonight at 12 and every time he goes at 12 I always worry he'll get in a wreck.

January 10 -- I made a cake before I went to Sunday school.  It turned out good.  I got a talk for Sunday school.  My first one.  I played all afternoon.  Mom and dad went to lunch then they went to a fireside.

January 22 -- At school today it was quite fun.  I made some popcorn and some fudge.  I'm going to watch nightmare movie.

January 25 -- My friends are starting to go against me.  I don't know why.  After school I came home and just played around and made some cookies.  Joel gave me a record.

February 26 -- I went to school today.  Mrs. Roberts was quite onry.  When I came home none of my friends could play so I just goofed off.  Later I made some fudge.

March 6-- Today at bowling my highest score was 112.  After bowling we went to the school and just goofed off.  I made Daddys birthday cake.

March 14 -- Today after Sunday school Richard, Carol, and Jan came and ate with us.  After Jana and Marsha came over and we made fudge.  My friends are real ignarnt to me.

April 30 -- Today at school our class went roller skating.  We had real fun.  After school I came home and played with Jan.  I just made cookies but they didn't work.

May 13 -- Today at school we were getting all ready to go on our field trip tomorrow.  After school I made Tom a birthday cake.

May 14-- Today at school we went on our last day of school trip.  We had the most fun riding up on the bus.  We sang songs and threw candy at the boys and they threw back.  Now I think I like Gary (yes, my husband)  better than Joel.  We went up to the capital then the pioneer museum then the hogle zoo. 

May 16 -- Today at Sunday school Tommy taught our class and it was fun.  After Sunday school I ate dinner and then Jana came over and we made cookies.

May 17 -- Today at school Mrs. Roberts was real onry and I hate her.  After school I came home and made a cake for Charlenes birthday.  Then I went to Marshas.

May 30 -- Today we went up to get Gary (my brother) at the airport.  I'm really proud that I belong to this family.  The farwell was real nice. I'm sad Tom is going to leave.

June 7 -- Today we went up to Salt Lake to take Tommy to the mission home.  We we came back I moved all my stuff in to Tommys room.  

(last entry was June 10.  I must have been having too much fun having my very own room to write in my diary any more.)

***

Guy

"Guy" has been a part of our family

for more than 20 years. 

She was once known as "Witchy"

until our granddaughter, Eliza,  renamed her.   

Eliza was here at Halloween when she was

about 2 and was very concerned about "Guy." 

She always wanted to check

to see if "Guy" was there,

but didn't want to get too close. 

When she came back for Christmas that year,

she expected "Guy" to still be sitting in the chair. 

I don't know if she was relieved

or disappointed that she wasn't. 

Here is a picture of Eliza at that time.

(obviously not with Guy,
she wouldn't get that close)

I copied  "Guy" from a witch 

my friend had bought. 

My "Guy" has never been as cute as hers,

but I love her anyway. 

She's literally been dragged through the

streets on Halloween night

(we found her in the middle of the road

and didn't recover one of her shoes

from a bush until the next summer). 

Since that time I've made her stay

inside on Halloween night. 

I wasn't sure which angle was

best for her features,

so I've taken two pictures.

She has my ankles

and Gary's calves

October just wouldn't be complete

if "Guy" weren't around.

***

The power of

Feeling.

We had our "relationships" class today.  Every time I go I come away with some new insight.  The last few weeks we've been discussing the different forms of criticism. 
Here is the link again:   criticism 

The underlying concept is that we should not criticize without seeking permission first.  That can seem a little formal, but it makes sense.  We all know that the minute someone starts to criticize, we become defensive.  The goal is to make a relationship a "safe" place where ideas and feelings can be expressed without judgment.  There are good and better ways of doing that.  Some examples:

"Could I offer a suggestion?"  (they may say no, but if they do, honor it)

"Would you like some input on that?"

"There may be a more effective way of doing that, would you like a suggestion?"

Is there a time when we can talk about how I feel when this happens?"

"I think I may have a better idea, would you like to hear it?"

I think the form of criticism I use

most often is sarcasm. 

I use it a lot with myself. 

I use it to lighten what could be a tense situation.  

I use it to be "funny." 

And in many ways I want to defend that practice, because I don't mind criticism in the form of sarcasm as much as other forms.  It's kind of laughing at yourself or others (ouch, that doesn't sound very nice), and acknowledging weaknesses without saying, "You should not" or "You always . . ." or "I never get it right." 

  As you can tell, I'm trying to justify sarcasm.   

I really want to justify sarcasm. 

I want to say it is not hurtful.

But who is to say it's not hurtful?

It would kind of depend on the attitude

or intent with which it is done,

don't you think?

Maybe it is just a very underhanded

way of taking a jab at

yourself or someone else.

Ok, I need to think some

more about sarcasm.

And while I'm thinking about that,

we had a very insightful discussion on

Manipulation

Who would know that there are so many very difficult and painful relationships that people have to deal with every day.  I'm counting my blessings in that regard and at the same time praying for those who have to deal with those toxic relationships.

                                                                                           ***

Emily

After having our stillborn daughter, Annalee, in February of 1979, we were told that if we monitored another pregnancy carefully we could probably have a healthy baby.

When we had our first amniocentesis at five months, it was apparent that the baby was in trouble. During the course of the next two and a half months we had three intra-uterine transfusions on the baby in Salt Lake at the University Hosptial. The hope was to get the baby to 36 weeks (at the time we didn't know she was a girl). I'm sure technology and treatment for RH incompatible babies is much more advanced now, but one method for determining when the next transfusion was needed was counting how many times the baby moved in an hour. It was a very stressful time. I spent the last two weeks in the hospital in Salt Lake, where they would come in every few hours to check the heartbeat. It was during that time that I didn't feel movement for a half hour and they came in, checked for the heartbeat, and found none. After taking an ultrasound, it was confirmed that she had died. That was at about 3 in the morning, and I called Gary at home. The next morning they started the induction. Because of my experience with Annalee, there was one thing that I kept repeating to everyone who came in the room:

“I’m going to hold the baby.” Even when I got preeclampsia (toxemia) during labor, gained 25 pounds of fluid, and had an excruciating headache, that was the only thing on my mind. When she was born she weighed 3 ½ pounds, and I did hold her. She was perfect. Holding her did so much to help in the healing.

I do wish I had some photos.

Years ago I bought a collectible plate

that touched my heart the first time I saw it.

The picture reminds me of our

two daughters in heaven.

***

A Renewed

commitment to exercise.

Now, how many times

in my life have I said that?

But I guess the fact that I'm still

saying it is worth something.

I love food. 

I love sweet food. 

I love to bake.

So, I'm telling myself that I can have

those foods I love in moderation

(a concept that is somewhat foreign to me).

Then if I exercise more,

maybe I can attain

and maintain a healthy weight

and just plain feel better.

So, once again,

I'm committing to exercising

at least 5 times a week.

I've been very consistent with doing 3 days. 

Two days for yoga.  One day at the gym.

So adding two more days is doable.

Today I was heading to the gym.

Then I got sidetracked by the gorgeous

(if not a little chilly) day.

Instead I walked the Provo Trail.

It was beautiful.  

So, on the days I exercise,

I'm going to put three little ***

at the bottom of my blog.

Nothing like being accountable.

***

I wish

I could capture, with photos,

the faces of the Primary Children

as they presented the annual

Sacrament Meeting Program.

It brings tears to my eyes

just thinking about their

shining countenances.

I felt such peace and joy as

I heard and watched each child,

and recognized that

I KNEW and LOVED

each of them as children of God.

I had a far different feeling at the program three years ago. Not to say that the children were not equally as beautiful or the program any less inspiring. Rather to say that I was not in a place where I could feel it.  I had been the Primary president for only a couple of months and, at that time, I did not even know most of the names of the 80+ children who now made up our new Primary. Our 16th Ward (which we had been a part of for 21 years) had been dissolved, and just two weeks after that I was called as the Primary president of the newly combined ward.


This was an extremely difficult transition for me. I had served in the Relief Society in our small and comfortable 16th Ward, and to have those relationships suddenly severed was very painful. Then, to suddenly be in charge of all the children's activities, was just plain scary. To be honest, I think "shell shocked" would be the most descriptive words to describe how I felt at that time. Thankfully, I had wonderful and supportive presidency members and faithful teachers who walked me through the first year.

I guess I go into this detail

to show the contrasts

between then and now.

Now, today,

as I looked at those children,

who I not only know by name,

but also by heart,

I felt something very strongly.

I felt God's great love for them.

Busy Day

We began the day with

Gary taking the opportunity to

clean up my messes from the back yard.

But he didn't stop there.

He made more of his own messes.

(which I'm very grateful for)

Then Duke came down for his Mom's

90th birthday party

and in the process

helped Gary clean his messes up

and take it to the dump.

(which I'm very grateful for)

I was visiting teaching during all that.

(good planning on my part)

Then we went to Mavis' 90th birthday party.

We've known her since we were teenagers,

and she has always shown interest in

and love toward us and our families.
She is a sweetheart.

Then we came home and watched BYU lose

their football game quite handily.

But all was not lost, Jean brought this

cute spider bread and dip

 and we had

Lasagna and Salad and Bread and Cookies.

All in all

a pretty nice day,

minus the game.

Putting the

Garden to bed.

With snow predicted for next week,

I decided I had better clean out the the

back yard garden beds.

It took me all day.

I did take a few breaks

and rested in the hammock.

Here is what I saw.

You'll notice it still looks a little messy.

I'm giving Gary the "opportunity" to

participate in this activity by

fillling the rest of the garbage cans.

When I told him,

he said he was grateful for the privilege.

Even among all the dead plants,

there is still this.

LYDIA!

When I got home and opened up my computer, I found a little message in the notebook gadget on my desktop.   It said:

I LOVE U
FOREVER
GRANDMA

No signature, but there was no doubt it was from Lydia. Lydia is my beautiful little redhead who is sensitive, loving, and smart. I can't believe she is 11 years old today. We were so glad we were able to celebrate her birthday early while we were out in Missouri.  

Lydia contemplating her party

Lydia with her new bedding

Lydia with all her presents

Lydia with her Awesome cake

Did I mention that Lydia is very limber?

(sorry for the sideway view)

I LOVE U

FOREVER

LYDIA

May all your sweet

dreams come true!

I just had

a brilliant idea!

At least I think it's brilliant.

I was unpacking my apples from

this container they come in.

When suddenly I saw a

whole new use for it.

Any guesses?

CUPCAKES

A dozen would fit very nicely

in this package.

It would keep them separate

and not smash the frosting.

Add a  ribbon or a nice tag.

Wow.

Some days I amaze even myself.
(Please, hold the applause)


PS:  If anyone buys apples in these containers
and does not want to use this brilliant idea,
please pass them my way.

Earthly

Classes.

A few weeks ago in Sacrament meeting, a counselor in the Bishopric reminded us of  how in the pre-existence we all agreed to come to earth and were excited about the experiences we would have. He equated the trials and hardships we have in life to taking "classes." We are getting our education, and our life experiences are the classes. (I'm probably butchering his message, but that is what I gleaned from what he said.)

I've thought of that a lot the last few weeks. When I went to lunch with my high school friends a week ago, I learned of some very difficult trials one of them is going through. Just dealing with one of the trials would be hard enough, but they just keep getting added upon. Equating that with getting an education, I would say she is getting a double Doctorate.

It's hard to understand why some people have such difficult lives. When you're in the midst of it, I would imagine it's hard to look at what is happening as taking a hard "class."  But, perhaps looking at it that way helps with perspective.

If we do learn from our experiences or "classes," we are in a unique position to be a help and comfort to others that are experiencing the same type of situation. I think widows and widowers share a bond that only they can know. Those who have been through divorce, the same. The parents who have lost children have a club you do not want to be a part of, but gain an empathy others cannot feel.  Victims of violence, accidents, disease, or breach of trust must feel an aloneness that only someone who has had similar experiences can relate to.
 
I also believe that many of our life experiences are for the very reason that we can help others who travel the same road. I don't believe that it was a coincidence that within a couple of years after having two stillborn babies, that I was a visiting teacher to two different women who had the same type of experience. Before that, and even now as time as dulled the memories, I would not have had the courage and understanding to step in, to acknowledge, and to talk about the "elephant in the room."

No two people have exactly the same experiences or react in similar ways. Maybe what brings comfort to me will not give comfort to someone else.

But the empathy

(gained from your own experiences)

for the pain a person is experiencing,

can always be felt.

I've felt it from others

many, many times in my life.   

From family,

friends,

and even strangers.

Sometimes it comes as just

an understanding glance,

a pat on the arm,

a kind word,

a simple (or even grand) gesture

of acknowledgment. 

I really, really don't want to get an advanced degree here on this earth school.  But if I have to take some very hard "classes," and get an advanced degree, I hope I can learn from them and at least pass the classes. 

In fact, getting a high school equivalent,

and passing with B+ for effort,

would be just fine with me.

Views from the

Bishop Farm

View from Kitchen Window

looking out over lake

View from deck looking out on Lake

View to the side (East?)

I'm truly directionless.

View from Front Porch

Front of Home

(if you look very closely,

you'll see my little buddy on the steps)

As we were leaving today,

I realized the next time I'm there,

there'll be a new little grandchild.

A wonderful thing to think about.

One thing

I managed to avoid, as a mother,

was pumpkin carving. 

It's messy. 

It makes me nervous

to watch  the kids using a knife. 

It's something I could hand over to Gary.

In fact, I think the only time I ever did it

was last with the Idiart grandchildren.

Tiffany had a new baby, Justin was at school,

so it was me. 

It wasn't as messy or as nerve-racking

as I remembered it being.

Still, I was more than happy

just to observe this fun event

here with the Bishop family.

Harrison showing Gary the

expression he wants on his pumpkin

Pretty close, don't you think?

The finished Products

Lots of

Fun

Checking out Dan's work at John Deere

Hanging out at the

Pumpkin Patch

Trying the local cuisine

And feeling just a little sick to my stomach!
(as much as I like oreos and chocolate,
this is even a bit much for me)