We

had an unexpected treat today when

Gary's twin sisters, Geniel and Janice,

came here to Provo for Memorial Day.

Janice and Frank live in Logan

and Geniel and Dickson live in Castledale,

so we don't get to meet together very often.

We always enjoy our time spent together

as we catch up on what is happening in our families.

Janice and Frank came by the house before we

went to the Sizzler to eat, and guess what?

All my burnt edged circles were spread out on

the table in the sunroom,

and Janice made four hair clips for her grandchildren.

She really enjoyed it.

I think she's hooked. 

And to think all this madness can be traced

back to my friend, Dianne,

who first introduced them to me.

Speaking of the madness,

it's reached a new level at our house.

This is what I put together for Charlene

for her birthday.

I'm going to check up with Charlene to make

sure she is wearing her pin and flip flops

as she lounges in her pajamas.

I will be highly offended if she isn't!

Sunsets

and the Cemetery.

This evening we went up to the East Lawn cemetery,

which is just a few blocks above our house.

 Gary's (Lewis) grandparent's are buried there. 

(shown here)

As we were up there, I remembered Tiffany's love of sunsets. Anytime there was a beautiful one, she would rush up to the cemetery so she could see it in all it's glory. When she was getting married, she wanted to have her picture taken there with a sunset in the background.  On a day when it looked like there might be a pretty sunset, we had the photographer meet us up at the cemetery to take her bridal pictures.

There we were, with Tiffany looking beautiful in her wedding dress, when the caretaker came out.  When he saw Tiffany he said, "When I looked out and saw an angel, all dressed in white, I thought it must be the morning of the first resurrection." 

The sunset that evening didn't end up being a very vibrant one,

so she ended up using a picture with

Timpanogos in the background for her large bridal picture.

But, she definitely looks like an angel.

Happy Birthday, Tiffany!   

"All that we can know

about those we have loved and lost

is that they would wish us to remember them

with a more intensified realization of their reality . . .

The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." 

Thornton Wilder

Gary's Parents

Gary's Ashton grandparents

(Lewis grandparents at a different cemetery)

My parents

My Anderson Grandfather

My Hall grandparents

Our daughter

Our daughter

My niece and nephew

Anderson cousins at Fred's Funeral today.

As I look back,

I realize that many of my latest blog entries are somewhat sad.

So, I think it's time for me

to

(I had fun experimenting with my Cricut machine on this)

The last

few days have been very full of varying activities.  I went to a tea party.  Not the political kind I've been reading about in the papers, but one of the European style.  It was so pleasant to be sitting outside (no snow, thankfully) enjoying the company of women, eating sandwiches and cakes, and hearing about quilts.  I'm not sure I will ever have the patience to quilt, but I am in awe of the intricacies of them.

Gary and Lynn are in town, and they wanted to stop by to see Maisel and Fred.  As I sat next to Gary and Lynn on one side and Maisel's sister, Kay, on the other, I had one of those moments of deep gratitude that comes from knowing that we are not alone in this life.   Having hands on each other's knees and holding them is a very natural and loving feeling in settings like that.  I have a vivid memory of sitting in the hospital next to Dad as he lay near death and non-responsive.  As I sat reading a book, I remember taking his hand, placing it on my knee, and holding it as I read.  It felt so natural and it was so comforting.  

Shortly after arriving home from the visit with Maisel, I got the call from Kay that Fred had passed away.  I'm glad he didn't have to linger too long.  His funeral is Saturday.

Today -- yoga, lunch bunch at Brick Oven, work, Costco, more work, and now I'm going to read the paper.   I'm feel so blessed with good friends and family.

It's amazing what

you can accomplish when you "get up and at um" early.  I woke at 6:15 (an automatic response to the 5 weeks that I had to), went on a walk, and weeded the garden.  And here it is only 8:28 am.  I doubt I'll make a habit of that, but it does feel good. 

I'm also feeling sadness in my heart this morning.  Last night we heard that Fred, who is married to my cousin Maisel, is close to dying.  When we heard, we went down the street to visit them.  Maisel was there with her daughter, Allie, from Idaho.  We saw Fred for a moment, and though he couldn't communicate with us, he knew we were there and was trying to talk.  Fred is such a dear man.  He has always been very interested in the family and loved Mom and Dad.  He once gave me a family picture of Dad's family where it showed just the top of a little head in the front of the picture.  He wondered if I had one of those pictures where the head wasn't cut off, because he knew it had to be Dad.  Dad was the youngest of nine and was the only one not shown in the picture. 

We always know that dying is a part of life, but I don't think we ever really think about the reality of it.  I'm glad that I know that while the body may die, that the spirit doesn't.  Once Fred passes on, I can imagine the reunion he will have with his daughter, Trish, who died in her sleep one night while in her twenties.   She was expecting her first child, and they never knew why she died.  That has been a source of heartache for them for many years.  

Life is a wonderful gift, but there are many difficult times throughout it.    

I went to

Yoga for the first time in 6 weeks.  It felt so good.  I actually did that pesky half moon pose (which has been my nemesis) better than I've ever done it. 

It's not like I can't stretch and move on my own.  It's just that I don't.  However, my teacher, Elizabeth, is taking the summer off, so I'm determined to take some time every day doing some of the movements.   I won't say I'll exercise every day (I tried being accountable last year and that didn't last very long).  But I feel so much better when I do exercise, so I'm going to give it a good effort.

Other than that, I've been obsessed with my latest hobby.  I don't even dare say the words loudly.  (SHHH--burnt edge flower pins).   Tiffany sent an email saying that Ashton (7)  had asked her what she was working on.  Tiffany replied, "Youth Conference." (which has been consuming her life for months).  Ashton's reply was, "When is it going to start?  It's taking over your life, and I don't like it."   When I told Gary about that, he said he knew exactly how Ashton felt.  If you substitute "flower pin" for "youth conference" he could say the same thing. 

Oh, well. 

What do you do

when you wake up at 6:45 on Monday, May 24,

and it's snowing outside?

I don't know about you,

but I'm going back to bed and catching up

on all the magazines I haven't had time to read.

P.S. 9 am view out my bedroom window

My Hangout

since the middle of April.

Not the most aesthetic setting,

with the cement walls

and my desk in a dark little corner.

If I worked there permanently,

I would definitely do something with the decor.

But, since it a meeting room for the football team,

I guess the look is understandable.

It does have s a pretty view out the window.

The most interesting thing about it was the smell.

Not a bad smell, really, but a strong smell.

Imagine walking in a tire store.

That's what it smelled like

The floors are all rubber, which made it

very quiet as a testing center.

The students would come in and

and comment on the funny smell.

I would notice the smell when I first walked in each morning,

but didn't even notice it by the end of the day.

Not noticing the smell after I had been there all day, made me think of something Mom would tell us.  She said her mom (my grandma) would often comment about how badly everyone must have smelled when she was young.  Back then it was customary for people to bathe only once a week.    What my grandma felt and would say, though, was that people didn't notice, because everyone smelled the same.  

Kind of a random thought, I know, but I did think about it. 

Anyway, I'm finished proctoring for the year.

It is actually kind of fun and went much more smoothly

this year because we learned a lot from last year.

But I'll be glad not to get up at 6 am on Monday morning.

Connie

I very seldom go to facebook.  It seems overwhelming to me, and I always feel I have a lot of catching up to do.  But a few weeks ago I got a facebook notification that I was invited to a memorial service for Connie, a girl I went to school with.  At first I thought it was a joke, but when I went on I saw that indeed she had passed away.  I felt so sad that I had not known she was sick again.

I had only known Connie slightly during high school.  But every time I've seen her since then, she's been so friendly and outgoing and has been very involved with our high school reunions.   She has a son Natalie's age, who was in the high school plays with her, so I've seen her a little more in recent years.  When our friend, Matt, died, Connie was very upset and wanted a copy of the talk Gary gave at the funeral. She commented to me that she had read it over and over. She shared something with me about that that I had never known before. 

Connie told me that when she was first married, she and her husband lived in the same apartment complex in Salt Lake as Matt had.  She said that she had put on a lot of weight, was having health problems, felt depressed, and just wanted to stay in and not be around people.  She said of Matt,  “He saved my life.”  Matt had called and come by a few times and encouraged her to come out and be with people.  She said she would always remember him for that.  His encouragement made her decide to go out and make a difference to others instead of staying home and feeling sad.  

Last November Connie dropped by the house to say hello.  We talked for about an hour.  She told me about the uterine cancer she had overcome and was elated because, during the cancer surgery, the Dr. had also removed 35 pounds of belly fat.  She said she still wanted to lose more weight, but that she was wearing a belt and could see her legs for the first time in years.  She was so happy.  I wish I had followed up with her and known that cancer had returned.  When I went to the viewing, her son said that everything went downhill about 2 months ago and that the cancer had gone to her brain.

Connie was an inspiration to me, because even though she struggled with her health and appearance all her life, she made a decision to embrace life,  She had a smile and laugh that radiated.  Finding out that it was Matt whose encouragement helped her to make that decision, has been a reminder to me that little kindnesses and encouragements can, and do, make a difference in others lives. 

I always remember a phrase I heard in a talk once.  "Never withhold generosity."  If you have a generous thought or nudging of the heart, act upon it.  Acknowledge, encourage, and give thanks. There are so many times when I have good intentions and plan to follow through on generous thoughts.   But more often than not, the connection is lost somewhere between the thought and the follow through.  Since her visit last November, I've thought several times about following up with Connie and seeing how she was.  I wish I had.   Her death has reminded me of the importance of following through with our "generous" thoughts--be it a phone call, a note, or even just an expression of gratitude or comfort.

And the fences

come tumbling down . . .

with a little help, that is.

A very different sight from what we're used to.

"I have everything I need."

Recently I've heard the phrase,

"I have everything I need."

in two different settings.

One was in the movie "Clash of the Titans." In that movie the mortal father is apologizing to his son that he was not able to give him the kind of opportunities and life he deserved. That is when the son said, "I have everything I need."

I can't remember the exact time I heard it a second time, but I think it was also on a movie or show, where it was said "We have everything we need."

The reason that little phrase jumps out to me is because of a personal experience I had shortly after Mom died. Dad had been gone for 18 months when Mom passed away. That was an especially difficult time for me, not only because of the feeling of loss, but also because we had to dismantle the house and remove everything that they ever had or treasured. I had to brace myself emotionally every time we went up to the house. I felt like I was dismantling their lives. It felt disrespectful. One thing that I kept reminding myself was that Mom and Dad had both had to do the same thing with their parent's homes, and that they understood. But it was still very hard for me and weighed heavily in my heart.

During that time, I had a dream that I felt was an answer to a prayer. In the dream we were in Mom and Dad's kitchen. I couldn't see Mom, but I knew she was in the other room. Dad was carrying a plate of food. I looked around the kitchen and saw empty spaces where some of the appliances and other things had been.. With anxiety and sadness I said to Dad, "I'm so sorry. If we had known you were coming back, we wouldn't have taken anything." Dad looked at me with such kindly eyes, and said, "I have everything I need."

When I woke up, my heart was no longer heavy with the sadness of taking their house, and thus their lives, apart. The anxiety was just gone. It was still not a fun task, and I'm glad I never have to do it again, but I had peace with it.

I have no doubt that this dream was a message from above to give me peace and comfort. I'm not a person who thinks every dream has meaning, nor do I read much into them. But in this case, I didn't have to read anything into it. The anxiety left and the peace just came,  

And I was very grateful.  

It's dark,

so I finally had to come in from the garden. I'm definitely late getting my flowers and vegetables in this year. I've felt less badly about that than I normally would because  the weather has been so rainy and snowy (yes snow in May) up until now.

But today was the day.  Actually, much of the pre-work was done on Monday when Gary and I did the clean out and loosening of the soil.  On Monday evening we had a little gathering here with all the neighbors that we share fences with.  Because they were coming, we felt the need to make the yard at least look tidy.

Our fence has been falling down for several years and it is definitely time to do something.  If there was any doubt about that, it was dispelled after Wednesday night.   On Wednesday, for a fundraiser activity, the youth in the ward came and cut down our lilac bushes (that were dead).  The next morning the fence was practically lying on the ground.   The dead lilac bushes were definitely the braces holding the fence up.  I took some pictures of the fallen down fence, but the pictures are no where to be found on my camera.  I would maybe think I was hallucinating about taking the pictures, except that I also took a picture of Gary acting like he was holding it up.  So I have collaboration that I took the pictures.  But I just don't have the pictures.

Anyway, I planted all the front yard annuals and a few back yard annuals today.  I didn't want to plant too many in the back yard because I figure they would get somewhat trampled when we put in the new fence.  But, I did plant some seeds that my friend, Barbara, gave me for Christmas.

It is amazing what she does with the seeds.  She gathers them from flowers and plants everywhere she can--even as far away as New York (where here daughter lives).  She packaged them all up with instructions and descriptions. Here is a picture of some of them and the beautiful butterfly garden book she made me.  It is the gift that keeps on giving.

Well, I'm tired. 

It's been a busy, but good, day. 

   

What I've been

(while I haven't been blogging.)

Proctoring Tests.

Doc Management.

Flower Pins for the cast of the play

(shown on my little "friend.")

Apron (for a gift) on my big "Friend."

Making Cupcakes

Missing my grandchildren.

That's about it.

You don't want me

as your travel agent.

I was reviewing with the girls some of the dumb things I have done as I've booked flights online.  To justify myself a little, I usually go back and forth to different flights and days trying to get the best deals, and in doing so end up making mistakes.

There was the time that Misty and family were coming out and I was booking their flights.  I had earned one free flight, so, I booked Dan's flight with the free one and then booked Misty and the kids.  So, on the morning they were flying home we loaded the six of them in the car with all their baggage and took them to the airport.  Once we got there to check in, we found that Dan was booked on the flight that morning, but Misty and the kids were booked for the flight at the same time the next morning.   To change the 5 flights to that day would have been very expensive, so we said good-bye to Dan and drove back home with Misty and the kids.  Now, I'm all for having the them stay as long as possible, but this was not the ideal way to do it.

Then there was the time Gary, Natalie and I were flying home from Misty's.  We showed up at the airport on Monday night only to realize that the flight had been booked for Sunday night.  That was an expensive trip.

Then there was the incident of running through the airport with Misty trying to get on a flight that we were late for.   There had been accidents and construction that we did not anticipate.  This was before the 9/11 when we could go right to the gates.   I left my car running at the curb (a definite no-no now), and carried and ran with Jackson as Misty ran ahead with her luggage and Lydia.  When I got to the terminal, Misty was sprawled out on the floor with all her bags, crying because she had just missed it.  We then drove around for 4 hours waiting for the next flight.

I know there are more mess-ups, but I must be having a brain freeze.  After all, there are only so many mistakes a person can admit to at one time.

My Mom

With mother's day tomorrow, I've naturally been thinking about Mom.  At Mom's funeral, Tiffany and Angie shared the podium as they represented the feelings of all the grandchildren.  I remember how what they shared captured the very essence of Mom's personality.  Here are excerpts from their message.

As all the grandkids sat around last night talking about Grandma and what we remember most about her, we came to the consensus that she was our #1 supporter and fan.  There are certain things that will always remind us of Grandma.

Her Chair:  All the things grandma loved most could be done out of her chair--she could talk on the phone, read, knit, cross stitch, and we even called it her thinking chair.  We used to joke that grandma would go anywhere if her chair could come.  Just this past summer when our family took a trip to the beachhouse it was hard for grandma to leave her chair, but it didn't take her long to find a replacement that overlooked the ocean.  She could find her chair anywhere.

Her Swing:  Some of our most fond memories at grandma's house are on the porch swing.  Her swing is the primary start of many endless conversations with her.  The conversations ranged from the landing of man on the moon when we were younger, to our latest boyfriends and dates in most recent years.  We spent many hours out on that swing looking at the stars and just enjoying her and grandpa's company.

Her beach attire:  No beach house trip would be complete without grandma's beach attire.  The blue and white polka dot pants and the big straw hat gave us all great enjoyment, and something to joke about with Grandma.

Her roast dinner, cottage cheese salad, and ice cream:  A trip to grandmas house just would not be the same without roast dinner, cottage cheese salad, and ice cream for desert.  of course the roast was very well done, or should we say charred . .  We never went away from grandma's house hungry.

Her phone:  This one can be summed up in one word . . . . busy!

The grapevine:  This goes hand in hand with her phone.  If you ever wanted to know what was going on with anyone in the family, or in the world for that matter, you would just call grandma.  The grandkids would always comment that we "heard it through the grapevine."  We would often like to think that we were her biggest source of gossip.  Jennie commented that grandma knew about her engagement before she herself even did. 

Her tough talk:  Grandma had a way of letting everyone know who was in charge.  If you picked a fight with one of her grandkids you picked a fight with her.  Under all circumstances the grandchildren were right, even if it meant opposing her children.  I often found myself threatening my mom with the words, "I'm going to tell grandma."  She always seemed to be on the side of the female, and taught us to stick up for ourselves.

Her laughter:  This is one of the most memorable things about grandma.  She would get laughing so hard, as she was slapping her leg, tears would stream down her cheeks.  She would laugh even when she couldn't hear one word that was being said.  You could definitely leave it up to Uncle Richard and Uncle Tom to get her laughing.  They had a special way of teasing her that would sent her into fits.

Her sympathy:  We'd always come to Grandma if we needed sympathy.  By the way we over exaggerated to grandma she probably thought we had no friends, money, or social life.  But she always boosted our self-esteem and showed us that in her eyes we were perfect.

Her concern:  Grandma was a very selfless person.  Even when she was in the hospital, her first concern was how you were doing.   Whenever we needed someone to talk to, grandma would always be there to listen and understand.  We always felt safe and secure at grandma's house because she was always taking care of our needs.

These are only a few of the many things that remind us of grandma.  She will be a continual influence and source of love in our lives.  The memories of her will last forever.  We love you Grandma.

I have pictures of her chair, swing, and polka dot outfit.  I also have plenty of pictures of us sitting around her dinner table.  But what can't be captured in pictures, but are captured in this tribute, are those characteristics that are not tangible.  They are what made Mom who she was.  And what made us always feel loved.  Thank you, Mom.

Our eyes are

always bigger than our stomachs.

As is our estimate of how much we will be able to do.

We were able to fulfill much of our Bunny Hollow Itinerary,

but there were just not enough days to fit in all the restaurants

or all the activities we wanted to.

I guess next year it will have to be longer!

Thank my to my wonderful son-in-laws, Dan and Justin,

for so willingly giving up their wives for 5 days so we could enjoy our time with them.

Thank to all the Bishop and Idiart in-laws who watched our grandchildren

during the day while their Dad's worked.

And, thanks to my grandchildren for being so darn wonderful!

On Saturday, Misty and Tiffany told me they were changing the

Sunday Itinerary and gave me this.

It was a wonderful treat,

and I did feel like a queen.

They made a delicious fajita meal,

and a divine crock pot cake.

I got pampered with back rubs,

head scrubs,

and snuggle bugs.

We watched priceless DVDs the

girls had made featuring the other 8 grandchildren.

(I'll show some clips from those later)

Monday was filled with shopping,

pedicures,

lunch at Zupas,

more flower pins,

dinner at Brick Oven,

and one final night of the play.

Wow!

It was all wonderful.

I feel very blessed.

You could call us

a ltitle obsessed!

With food, flowers, and family.