This makes me

Happy.

Hopefully

the tornado's are gone and done with. 

Today Misty saw that a storm was coming and went to the school to pick up the kids.  She was still at the school when the brunt of the storm hit.  She said she got to huddle in the hall with the kids as they waited for it to pass.  Out on the farm, a small tornado hit the lake behind their house.  They were out of power for several hours, but fortunately nothing was damaged.    I'm feeling grateful that everyone is fine.   My heart goes out to all those who have suffered losses with all the natural disasters lately.  I can't imagine how it must feel to look at everything you have destroyed.  But even that is all inconsequential compared to losing loved ones, which many people have.

The only time I've been in any kind of tornado like winds was when we were visiting Nauvoo with all of our kids and grandchildren a few years ago.    We were staying in a motel, and the winds caused the power to go out.  It was actually kind of cool, because we lit candles and read family history stories of ancestors who had actually lived in Nauvoo.   It created a quite a realistic setting for the stories.  The next morning there were several trees down, but no damage to any buildings.  

I'm truly enjoying

having my daytime hours free again.  I went to yoga for the first time in 2 months.  I've been able to check a few things off my long list of things to do. The garden and flowers are planted (in between rain storms).  I've turned the TV on some, but then I just want to turn it off and enjoy the quiet.   I've talked with friends and gone visiting teaching.  I've taken a nap.   Sometimes it takes going without something (like free days) to appreciate it more when you have it again.

Happy thoughts:  We visited Gary at the hospital and he was doing very well.  We leave for Missouri on Friday and are excited to spend time with the Bishop family and grandchildren.  (Hopefully there will be no more tornado's.  The devastation in Joplin Missouri is so sad).

And, as a last thought.  Sometimes I forget who may be reading these blog entries.  Then when I hear from someone, I feel kind of embarrassed by some of my silliness or my thoughts or my issues.   So, if you are reading this, just know that it makes me happy that you care enough to read about what is happening in our lives.  Sometimes I wonder why I do it at all.   But there is something driving me.  Maybe it is the need to connect with you.

But, I have one request.  

Please don't hold anything I 

do, write, think, or feel against me.

I'm still trying to figure it all out,

and writing about it is (kind of) helping me do that.
Besides, it does a person good to laugh
at themselves once in a while.

Growing old

and watching those we love grow older and more frail, is hard.   I think the passage into old age is perhaps the most difficult period of a person's life.  People have spent their lives being productive and active, and often those abilities diminish.  The more active and self-sufficient a person has been, the more adjustment it takes to deal with the physical challenges that make it hard to do what they've always done.  It made me sad to see Dad go through that.  He had never hired a anyone to do fix-it's in the house and he had always been the do-it man.  Yet as his eyesight and dexterity got worse, he had to give much of that up.  Having to depend on others for transportation and support was hard for him.

I guess I'm thinking of this particularly tonight because my brother, Gary, is going in to have knee replacement surgery tomorrow.   There should be no complications, but I worry about him because his health is more fragile because of his Parkinson's.   He and Lynn have amazing can-do attitudes, and Gary always says how much he appreciates all he is able to enjoy in life.  I only hope that at 73 I will be as sharp and positive as Gary is.

After we went to dinner with them tonight, Gary (hubby) and a neighbor gave Gary (brother) a blessing.  In the blessing Gary (hubby) mentioned how much Gary (brother) has contributed to and blessed other's lives for many years.  And how he will continue to do so as he recovers.  It was very comforting for me and made me grateful that we can call upon God and receive His blessings.   

What will I miss if and when I am no longer able to do what I do?  I will miss being able to do what I'm able to do. (Brilliant reasoning, I know).  Specifically:  Bake, create, listen (and actually hear), serve, read, be self-sufficient and productive.  Hopefully that will never happen.   But if it does, that is what I will miss.

Sorry. I'm just feeling a little melancholy tonight.

We had

a "Swap" at the church yesterday.  We had lots of  things donated, but we didn't have a lot of people come to take things.  So, as we on the committee were there for two hours, we kept walking around and picking up things ourselves.  I had donated several boxes worth of items, and came home with a little less than I had taken.  I guess that is progress.

I came home with some movies, books, a chair massage , and crepe maker (still in its box).  I had seen a crepe maker before, but wouldn't have bought one.  But it was free, so why not give it a try.  (Wait a minute, wasn't my last blog entry about not getting things because they were a good deal). 

I've always been a little intimidated by crepes, because I haven't had a lot of luck at making them.  I think I'll be making them more often now, because the crepe maker made it really easy. 

See, I was justified in bringing it home.

Some of

the thoughts copied  from the white board at our Relief Society Activity on Tuesday.

"Your house is your home only when you feel jurisdiction over the space".  Joan Kron

"Have nothing in your homes that you do not know to be useful and believe to be beautiful."  Willilam Morris

"Work is love made visible."

Our friend and ward member, Lisa, gave us an inspiring, informative, and also very entertaining presentation on cleaning, organizing, simplifying, and  " hating cleaning less."  Here is a link to her blog where she has shared her ideas:    Lisa's Practical Tips

What I came away with was a greater desire to be more "deliberate" in creating spaces in my home that are clean and beautiful.  She asked us to acknowledge the biases, traps, and weaknesses we have that keep us from creating the kind of home we want.  Here are some of mine:  Feeling overwhelmed (instead of just doing it).  Holding on to things I don't particularly care for or use, thinking that I might need it some day.  Collecting more of things I like, even when I do not have the space or need for it.   Buying things that are a great price, even if it doesn't fit into my ideal space.  Organizing "stuff" and trying to find a place for it, instead of "making a place" for the things we love and use.      

Bottom line is, I love having a clean and orderly home, but I don't particularly love the work it takes to make it that way.  Most of us don't.  But, Lisa presented ways to make it "sweet," by engaging the 5 senses and just changing out attitudes about it.   I need to go re-read her blog every week, just to get inspired all over again.   

Mom approached homemaking that way.  She would do her work, and then spend the rest of the day doing things she enjoyed, like reading,doing handwork, and visiting with people.   Her attitude was, if it needs to be done, do it.   Whereas, I tend to put off doing the housework or procrastinating what needs to be done.  But when I do that, I don't relax or enjoy what I'm doing, because in the back of my mind I'm worrying about the essential things I'm procrastinating.   Wouldn't you think I would have to figured out at my age?  Oh, well.

PS:  The cupcakes got delivered with no mishaps.  I'm feeling very relieved.

2 more days

of testing, and then I can sleep in a little! 

Tonight I made the last 9 dozen coconut cupcakes for the wedding, which is Friday.  I'll frost some tomorrow night and the rest on Friday right before I deliver them.  So far it has gone smoothly, with no mishaps.  I'll be relieved once they are frosted and delivered without a something drastic happening (like the carriers tipping over in the car).   I can hardly watch the shows like "Cake Boss" or "Cupcake Wars," during the part where they are transporting their large creations. 

When I'm making cupcakes as a gift or volunteer effort, I want them to turn out well.  But it is a different kind of pressure when you're making them for money.   At the Stake Women's conference, where we had all the cupcakes, a lady asked me if I made them for weddings or other events.  I told her that I really didn't, but that I would be glad to share the recipes with her. 

She followed up with me a few weeks later and really wanted them for her daughter's wedding, so I decided to give it a try.  I really didn't know what to charge, so I went with a medium price of 75 cents each.  I felt badly even charging that, but the verdict is still out about how profitable it will be once it's all over.   I'll definitely come out ahead, as the ingredients don't add up to that much, but It's hard to figure in my time.  I'm glad I've done it though, as it has been kind of fun.

There was a documentary

on last night that was fascinating to me. It was called the "Freedom Riders."  It recounts the events in 1961 when racial tensions were very high, particularly in the South. 

In May of 1961 I was 7 years old, so I was pretty oblivious to events beyond my own little world. Living in Provo, Utah, I had probably never even met someone of the black race.  Nor was I aware that there was such a thing as racial discrimination.   Since that time, I've obviously learned and read a lot more about the violations of human rights and discrimination.  But, what amazed me in this story was that, even as late as the 60's, many of the State and Federal governments were still blatantly disregarding racial rights and laws. 

Here is a recount of the "Freedom Riders" from a commentary in the Washington Post last week. 

"In May of 1961, a group of black and white Americans departed Washington, D.C., and headed south. One group was on a Trailways bus; the other took a Greyhound bus. Their goal was to see if Southern bus terminals were desegregated, as they should have been if the Supreme Court's 1946 Morgan v. Virginia ruling were being enforced. The Morgan ruling outlawed segregation in interstate travel facilities, but almost all Southern states pretended the ruling didn't exist.  When the people who would become known as Freedom Riders started their journey, it wasn't a case of civil rights activists engaging in civil disobedience to make their point.  What the Freedom Riders did was perfectly legal. What some state and local officials did -- think Alabama and Mississippi Govs. John Patterson and Ross Barnett, and Birmingham, Ala., Public Safety Commissioner Eugene "Bull" Connor -- was either illegal or malfeasance in office.  Things went peacefully for the Freedom Riders as their buses traveled through Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia.  Then the Greyhound bus stopped in Anniston, Ala., where a mob burned the bus and beat some of the Freedom Riders.  What happened when the Trailways bus arrived in Birmingham was even more despicable. Connor had cut a deal with Ku Klux Klan leaders: Their ruffians were given 15 minutes to attack the Freedom Riders before police intervened. Photographers from several newspapers caught the KKK thugs on camera savagely beating the activists.

I know I'm still somewhat oblivious to what has gone on and is still going on in the world.  But, after watching this program,  I now have a greater appreciation of how racial divides and discrimination have improved in the last 50 years.  I'm not naive enough to think it doesn't still happen.  But the fact that we are now being led by a president who is black, does show progress. 

It's late and

we're exhausted after spending the day digging and planting (in between rain storms, that is). 

But, I wanted to say Happy Birthday to my brother, Tom, who turned . . . . today.  I won't reveal his exact age, but let me just say that he is definitely a senior citizen now.   Love to you, Tom. 

And while I'm giving birthday wishes, I'll get ahead of myself and wish my sister, Charlene, a Happy Birthday on the 18th.  Adding  my two oldest brothers, Gary and Richard, in with Tom and Charlene, equals me feeling very blessed in the family department.

Here are pictures of the birthday girl and boy and me

just a few short years ago.

Well, maybe more like 50 years ago., but who's counting?

Certainly not me, the youngest of the crew.

I got this

card in the mail. 

I feel validated!

Who could dispute these very scientific studies?

Thanks, Dianne.

Sometimes

I forget that I'm very hard of hearing.  I'm very aware of it when my hearing aids are out, because I'm about 90% deaf without them.  In fact, thinking of going out in public without my hearing aids gives me a very panicked feeling.  I never step outside the house without them in.  It is a very vulnerable feeling.

When I say I forget about my hearing loss, what I mean is that while I'm probably missing a lot, I don't know I am.  I'm sure others are aware that I'm not hearing, but I'm oblivious to it.    Kind of like the philosophy of, "What you don't know can't hurt you."   In group settings I miss a lot, especially if I'm not looking at the person who is speaking.   But I have no problem asking people to repeat what they said and I've learned to read lips very well.   I've also learned to fake it really well, which is not something to be proud of.   But it saves a lot of confusion and extra effort on every one's part.

Why I'm writing about this right now is because the testing atmosphere has made me very aware of just how bad my hearing loss is.  It's really almost comical.  First of all, I don't hear whispers.  The testing is supposed to be a quiet environment, so every conversation is soft.    If a student or teacher has a question for me, it usually takes about 3 times for me to get the message.  And even then, it is not because I necessarily hear them but because I have picked up from the body language what they are wanting.  Like a girl comes up and asks me a question.  Finally after a couple of tries, and I'm sure a look total denseness on my face, she holds up a tissue and I realize she is wondering where the garbage can is. 

Fortunately, the testing job is more about efficiency and organization that hearing, so I can handle it short term.    But I would definitely not be able to work in a quiet environment. 

And it's not just quiet environments that are a problem.  When I was working on the Stake RS committee with a group of ladies, I didn't even think about mentioning my hearing loss and the need to talk louder.  And it wasn't a problem in our small meetings in the home.  But when we were decorating and setting up in the big cultural hall, I realized that I was missing a lot and basically drawing a blank when someone would say something to me.  Finally I thought to mention that I was hard of hearing and that I didn't hear things well from a distance or when I wasn't looking at them.  (Maybe I deserve to be thought of as less than bright.  Not because of my hearing loss, but because I forget to mention that I have a hearing loss until it becomes an obvious issue.)

I always try to remember my experiences when I find myself being too quick to judge a person by their actions or their response to something.  We rarely know the whole story or what kind of physical or emotional handicaps they may be dealing with.   Being aware of and honest about our own vulnerabilities, definitely helps us feel more tolerant toward others.


 

Relieved

that my computer didn't actually die.  It just ran out of battery and would not work for two days.

We went to a repair shop, and I learned several things:

Sometimes if the battery is not working, even when it is plugged in, take the battery out and put it back in.  The battery sometimes just gets things jammed up.   Once we did that, and the computer was plugged in, it worked even without the battery in it.  But, the battery is basically dead and can't be recharged.   So, the options are to always keep it plugged in (but then when I move it to other plugs it goes down completely) or get a new battery.  So, the nice man showed how we could go on Ebay and find a new battery for $39.00  Much better than a new computer with lost information!

The other thing I learned (even though Gary will say he has already told me this) is that at least once a month you should let your battery go all the way down to no power.  If you keep it constantly plugged in and fully charged, or let it only go down to half or partial power, then the battery has memory and starts to think that it can only recharge that much and won't recharge any more than that.

I'm sure there is a life analogy to all of this, but as I sit here at testing it's not really coming to me.  So, if you have anything wise to share, please feel free.

Day 6: It's my last day in

Utah, and I've had such a fun mother's day!  Grandpa and I brought grandma breakfast in bed.  I helped peel the oranges and put the peanut butter on the bread.  We arranged the oranges around the toast into the shape of an M for mom.

 

I went to grandma and grandpa's church and I was so reverent.  A lot of kids talked about how much they loved their moms and how much they appreciated everything they did for them.  It made me want to be a good mommy some day.

When we got home from church, Grandpa, Aunt Natalie, and I made grandma a really nice breakfast (for dinner) of eggs and pancakes with peanut butter and bananas. 

The only yucky thing was the

ketchup dip grandpa made.

I was so glad that I got to spend time with

Annie's Aunt Natalie.

and I was also glad that I got to eat those yummy pancakes!

Grandma said she was feeling so special and loved by her grandchildren.  The Bishop's sent her a crown, so she could be "Queen for a Day."     Annie's family sent an "I Love Grandma" book with their voices reading the story.   It made me happy to hear Annie's voice as she and her brother and sisters read the story!

As grandma tucked me into Annie's sleeping bag for the last time, 

she told me she would really miss me.  

I will miss them, too, but I'm very excited to

 see Annie and all of Mrs. Bjorge's class again.

So I'm saying my goodbyes and flying out tomorrow.

And, they're sending me home with lots of kisses!

Day 5: More adventures

with Annie's Flat Eliza.

Remember I told you we were going to make cupcakes today? 

Well, we made a lot of cupcakes today! 

 (Grandma is making some for a wedding, 

which is why we made so many).

  I borrowed an apron from one of the "apron girls," and it fit just right!  

I got to add ingredients,

and mix them together.

And, best of all, I got to lick the spoon!

As you can see, I got a little bit on my hands and face.

 

I guess Annie does the same thing when she helps make cupcakes. 

Grandma showed me this picture she took of Annie in March.

When we went to get the mail, grandma was excited. 

We sat on the porch swing and tried to figure out what was

in the mother's day envelopes that came from Missouri and Oregon.

Annie had told me how much grandpa loved ketchup and mustard.

But I was still surprised when he tried to get me to dip food

 like oranges and veggie sticks in ketchup.   Yuck!

I had a fun surprise when the doorbell rang and a friend come to visit. 

Guess who it was?  It was Flat Stanley! 

He had come from Idaho to visit his Grandma and Grandpa Roylance.

Aunt Natalie came over and we went to get manicures at the Mall.

I got clear polish on my nails.

Then we went to the cemetery with Uncle Gary and Aunt Lynn.

We put flowers on Annie's great-grandma and grandpa's graves.  They were born almost 100 years ago.   Grandma and Grandpa told me how grateful they are that they had such good parents.

It's been a very busy day.   

Day 4: Today after school

we went to buy flowers to plant in Annie's grandma and grandpa's yard.  The FFA down at Provo High was having a sale of the plants they grew in the greenhouse.  I got to help pick out the flowers.  My favorite were the pink cosmos.

When we went to pay for them, the FFA girl was so excited when she saw "Flat Stanley."   I guess she knows all about him.  I had to explain that to her that I was kind of like him, but that my name was Flat Eliza and that I came to visit from Annie's kindergarten class in Oregon.

 While we were at Provo High

buying the flowers, Annie's grandma said she wanted to show me a spot where she spent lots of time when she and grandpa were in high school  (Can you believe they graduated from this school 39 years ago?  They are really old!)  This is the spot grandma showed me.  

It's the exit from the boys locker room.  (Don't worry, I didn't go in!)  Grandma said that after every sports event grandpa played in, she would wait outside for him to come out.  And she would wait, and wait, and wait.  And he was always the very last one out.  She said he hasn't changed in that way at all. 

I'm excited for tomorrow.  I get to help make cupcakes!  Tonight I'm going to help sew an apron.   The fabric looks like chocolate chips and chocolate chip cookies. 

Hmm, just looking at it makes me want some cookies.    

When I told Annie's grandma that I wanted cookies, 

she said maybe we would make some.

And, best of all, that we could

send some home with me!

Day 3: An Adventure

today with Grandpa.

Today, instead of going to the testing center, I went to school with grandpa.  It was lots of fun, because I didn't have to be so quiet.   I tried to get into grandpa's office, but it only opens with grandpa's fingerprint. His office is a high-security zone. He said something about a biometric lock. I tried my finger but it didn't work.

Once we were inside the office, I helped grandpa with his computer work. Grandpa has more computers than anyone I know!

Grandpa let me learn right along with his Financial Literacy students...

  

 and draw fun pictures on Grandpa's whiteboard...

Then I got to teach his students in the computer lab

the things that Grandpa taught me.... 

and at class break I skipped with Grandpa's students to their next class.

One of my favorite activities of the day was working with his finance students on investment strategies.

 Grandpa's Desktop Publishing class was especially kind to me
after I shared with them the investment strategies
we developed in Grandpa's Financial Literacy class.

I had lots of fun helping Emma and Stephen deploy
computer images from the Altiris management console.

Grandpa sure does a lot of things at his school! 

But, helping Chris build a computerized Lego Robot was the best! 

 I rode all over the school on this robot!

I can't wait until I'm old enough to go to High School :-)

 After a fun day at school we went down

 to the Riverwoods shopping center. 

While there, we ran into Zoltar, a fortune teller.

 

Guess what my fortune is?

"You will travel far,
but home will always be with

Mrs. Bjorge's kindergarten class."