I feel like I need to welcome myself back to a somewhat normal life. (Is my life ever normal?)
I've obviously by-passed all of the December memories and activities, and just as I was ready to start a new year, with new goals, and new focus, I came down with a cold that turned to pneumonia,
So, since January 1, I have been seriously derailed. Like so derailed, that I'm making my first trip back to Costco since December, and have only ventured out of the house about 4 times (two for medical reasons). I really don't know if I am emotionally equipped to re-enter society. Fortunately it came at a time when I didn't have any big commitments or was not really needed. I don't know how I would have coped had all this happened a month earlier.
Gary was very impressed when he got home from church yesterday. I had made soup, 8 loaves of bread (doubled the recipe), and chocolate cake, and when he walked in he was shocked. My mixer has never been so unused.
Then my Jehovah Witness friend, that always seemed to stop by when was baking, came by for the last time today. I guess they are starting a new program where they don't go door to door and rather seek out people who they know are looking for hope. The main lady, who has been the mainstay over the last few years, had told her companion that they could go visit the house around the corner, and that there was usually something baking there. We had a good visit. I was so glad that I could send them off with a final loaf of bread.
It feels good to feel good. It gives me such empathy for people with chronic or fatal illnesses. I've been thinking about last year at this time when I was helping Gary with his history. He was so courageous. When I would show up to work with him, he was often so weak, yet he put everything into pushing forward with a good attitude and a desire to do accomplish what he could. It would be very easy to give up and sink into a depression. But both Gary and Richard never gave into that, and that is a great example to me.
