Since my brother, Tom, is in

Tahoe for the week, he won't know that I've plagiarized him.   Actually, I 'm not even plagiarizing his writings, I readily acknowledge that I cut and pasted them from his blog to mine.  Why?  Because he is a wonderful writer and expresses what I feel better than I could.   I want his writings to be a part of my life history.  

Tom prepared these thoughts for Gary and Lynn's 50th Wedding anniversary party in December.   It brings tears to my eyes just reading this. He truly captures the essence of Gary and Lynn.  Thanks, Tom, for letting me share this, even though I didn't ask you and you may sue me for rights.  (I'll pay you in cupcakes next time you visit.)

"I was fortunate to have a wonderful family. My parents loved me, each other, and all of their children equally, except they loved Annette the most. I was also very fortunate to have 2 big brothers who treated me so well, and continue to do so. Over the years I have spoken with many brothers and in almost every case when I tell them that we 3 boys never fought they don't believe me. They all had fisticuffs with their brothers. We never did, not once that I recall. First of all my parents would not have allowed it, but more importantly we had love and respect for each other that would not allow that to happen.

As this is about Gary I will leave Rich for another time. Also, when I speak of Gary it is almost as if I am speaking of Lynn as well. In my mind, for almost all of my life, they have been "one". It is hard to think of one without the other. And, again, in a very positive way.

I am going to label Gary in order to make some points. I normally do not like to label, but in this case I think it makes the points I want to make. I am viewing Gary (and Lynn) from my perspective as various points of my life.

The Romancer----Through the wide eyes of my youth, one of the wonders to behold was my oldest brother's romances. I not only saw it play out, but I heard about it constantly just by being around my mom. She could tell a tale of romance about Gary and his young loves. I did not have to read novels--I could get it first hand about Gary and his young loves, especially Lynn. No matter who Lynn was dating he was no comparison to Gary. And, we heard about it. Those were interesting times to a young man 10 years old or younger as I listen with great interest. Gary was my first brush with romance, albeit vicariously. I learned from Gary through these times about how to treat girls with respect and how to have manners around them, like pulling out chairs, letting them walk on the inside of the sidewalk etc. Many times in later years I would go to Gary and ask the great romancer about girls I was dating. Lynn was a source of good information, Gary not so much. Their opinions always mattered to me.

The Dresser----Working at Clark's men's clothing store was a big deal in my eyes. It was THE place to buy clothes in Provo back then and my big brother worked there. To me that was a very big deal. I was pleased, then, to receive dressing hints from Gary. He matched my clothes with my socks and showed me just how high to have my jeans rolled up. Back then, dressing well was a big thing, not like today. Gary was my fashion police. He did a good job, though my Lynn will swear I lost it someplace along the way.

The Dancer---Our home was one of music and fun and dance. I looked up to my 2 big brothers and their dancing moves. But, after they taught me do dance they became somewhat irrelevant as I could way out-dance either one of them, especially Gary who lacked the natural movements that I had and continue to have. But, he tried and he did know the mechanics of the dances and did teach me those well. What he lacked in talent he made up in effort. Actually, all 3 of us loved dancing and were very good at it. We were the best in town, just ask us. My dad was a natural dancer, my mom not so much. We danced in our home all the time. It was so much fun. Annette and I were really good dancers, but I was better than her even though mom and dad loved her most. By the way, it made mom so angry when I tease her that Annette was their favorite. She said they loved Charlene just as much. The silence regarding us boys was deafening.
The enforcer----Rich and I loved to play basketball. Even in winters we would go out back and shovel the snow off the court that Dad had made for us. We would invite friends and neighbors over for games, challenging them to try to beat us. Nobody could. If somebody got close we would call in the "enforcer"--guess who that might have been. Gary was older and somewhat talented. However, Rich was smooth and I could shoot, but we need somebody under the boards to make bodies fly. In comes the enforcer and in no time the bodies were flying and lying on the ground buckled up. That opened the way for my shooting and Rich's driving and making his spin shots. Gary was a good but not great shooter or dribbler. But, he could rebound like nobody I knew. Never mind that he was not tall. Strength and guts was what was needed and the enforcer had plenty of that. After a while, our friends would not play us if we called the enforcer in. Perhaps that is why we never lost, but I doubt it. Nobody was stronger or had more guts than my big brother. I thought that then and think so now.

The Hosts--I lived with Gary and Lynn for 2 summers. This was the time period I really got to know and love Lynn. I found out that she was really as nice and kind and wonderful all the time as she was just seeing her on a periodic basis. She had her hands full with all her young kids, and especially with Chuck and Christine. I just sat back and marvelled at how organized and compassionate she was. She always had time to chat with me and ask about how the dates went with the girls she had lined me up with. I can think of 4 girls I went out with and one I became engaged to because of Lynn's match-making. I loved those summers getting to know and love her more. What Lynn did not know was that I was comparing the girls to her. She was the Gold Standard for me. And, they all fell short.

As was usual in many things, Gary helped me those summers in finding work that paid well so I could have some money to pay for school. He knew Ren Hoops, the VP of Safeways and he got me a really nice paying job at the Safeway yards.

During those summers I taught Gary how to play tennis. The first summer I was really shocked at how good he became in such a short period of time. We played 4-5 times a week and it was great fun. I know he was busy he and Lynn were, as I look back. Lynn was patient in allow that to happen so frequently. He became so good that he almost beat me once ( I was sick and had a fever and could hardly walk). Gary will say he did beat me, but that is not so. I have great memories of those times. It was then that I got to know their children better and developed a real love for all of them as well. I saw how Gary loved, pushed, expected, and motivated them to do good just as he always had done with me. I saw how Lynn was a softening influence and displayed a constancy and love to them. Together they made wonderful parents, as is shown by the children and grandchildren they have nurtured along.

The Motivator----On my mission I received letters from Gary that were meant to both keep me humble and to motivate me. I recall early on that he had read a letter I had sent to mom and dad. He then wrote me a letter correcting my spelling and hinting that I should study harder. When I was made Assistant to the President he wrote a letter stating that was good but reminded me that he was an AP also and longer than I would be so stay humble and keep my feet grounded. Later, Lynn wrote me a separate letter telling me that Gary was so proud of me that he was telling everyone but would not admit it to me. She stated she was not surprised that I had done so well on my mission. Almost like good cop, bad cop. Always the motivator, Gary pushed for the best from me. I took it as a compliment and tried harder.

Gary is the one who called me from California and suggested I apply for the honor's program at BYU. He suggested some names of people to use as references. I followed his counsel because it was always good. I was admitted into the Honor's program and that was a defining moment for my learning. Gary also suggested I try to get into the Blue Key Honor society. I did that and that helped me as well. Being 8 years older that I was Gary was aware of the things that would matter on my applications for Law School or any other graduate school. He was a resume builder for me and I am very grateful he was. Gary has taught me that you pretty much get from people what you expect from them. He pushed me, motivated me, guided me and supported me in making it through many of lives important passages. I am forever grateful to him and Lynn for all the wise counsel they have given me over all these years.

The exemplar----All my life I have looked to Gary as an example of how to live my life. He has been a good example to me in so many different ways. His example as a husband, for example. He has always treated Lynn with kindness and love. He does get impatient at times, and frustrated with himself, but his love for Lynn is evident at every turn. He thinks of her first and places her at the top of his universe. He does the same with his children. His children love and adore him despite his pushing them to their limits (for their own good). He has the deep respect of all of his friends and family.

Whatever Gary does he does well and with vigor and enthusiasm. His career as a lawyer attests to that. For those outside the law, his accomplishments are really not known that well. When Gary was practicing law he was a very big fish in a very big pond. He was regarded as one of the best in all of Northern California, California and in the nation. He belonged to a national trial group of lawyers that only allow in those of exceptional ability. He never bragged of these things and always stayed in tune with the common man. But, he was the best and considered so by the best. His reputation was so good that when I had a case against a Bay Area attorney I would always find a way to mention that I had a big brother who was a lawyer in the bay area and then drop his name. I gained instant respect by so doing. They had seen or heard of Gary in action--you know, making bodies fly and seeing others on the ground under the basketball hoop.

Gary and Lynn are wonderful examples of how to be generous with time, talent, and money. Generosity is a wonderful virtue and they each have an abundance of that. I recall being at a church public affairs meeting where I met Gary. He was meeting with some people there prior to the meeting trying to have them lent financial support to a group of Black lawyers in the Bay Area, trying to increase the Black influence in the law in the Bay Area. He had some pledges of a substantial amount of money. Then there is Lynn who has devoted much of her adult life to raising money for her foundation, millions of dollars I am told.

The friend----in later years he became not only my big brother but also my good friend. I always enjoy being around him. He is interesting and is not afraid to express an opinion. If my opinion differs he accepts that while politely making his points. When he talks, I listen. Throughout my life I have listen carefully to his counsel regarding girls, dress, sports, relationships, money, career, and more recently retirement issues. I am so grateful for our relationship.

The prototype---I listen to Gary now to learn what I am facing as I grow into his age. I just seem to be 8 years behind him. My knees are starting to hurt. My memory is not what it used to be. Gary called me right after his diagnosis of prostrate problems for the specific reason of letting me know that that problem was now part of my family history--always the concerned big brother.

It has been a wonderful and fulfilling journey I have taken with Gary and Lynn. I am so grateful that they have been by my side on my journey. Lynn has been like a sister to me for a very long time. I have always felt a real connection and real love with Lynn. As I said. She is the Gold Standard.

I could not have asked for a better and wiser big brother. Gary has always taken very seriously his role as a big brother. He has set the example for me of how one should live a life of compassion, service, and faith in the greater good.

I love Gary. I love Lynn. I love this journey we have shared. I wish them the very best for the rest of their lives here and in all the eternities. I am certain when they meet the "keeper of the gate" that He will tell them "Well done thou good and faithful servants".