I got this

card in the mail. 

I feel validated!

Who could dispute these very scientific studies?

Thanks, Dianne.

Sometimes

I forget that I'm very hard of hearing.  I'm very aware of it when my hearing aids are out, because I'm about 90% deaf without them.  In fact, thinking of going out in public without my hearing aids gives me a very panicked feeling.  I never step outside the house without them in.  It is a very vulnerable feeling.

When I say I forget about my hearing loss, what I mean is that while I'm probably missing a lot, I don't know I am.  I'm sure others are aware that I'm not hearing, but I'm oblivious to it.    Kind of like the philosophy of, "What you don't know can't hurt you."   In group settings I miss a lot, especially if I'm not looking at the person who is speaking.   But I have no problem asking people to repeat what they said and I've learned to read lips very well.   I've also learned to fake it really well, which is not something to be proud of.   But it saves a lot of confusion and extra effort on every one's part.

Why I'm writing about this right now is because the testing atmosphere has made me very aware of just how bad my hearing loss is.  It's really almost comical.  First of all, I don't hear whispers.  The testing is supposed to be a quiet environment, so every conversation is soft.    If a student or teacher has a question for me, it usually takes about 3 times for me to get the message.  And even then, it is not because I necessarily hear them but because I have picked up from the body language what they are wanting.  Like a girl comes up and asks me a question.  Finally after a couple of tries, and I'm sure a look total denseness on my face, she holds up a tissue and I realize she is wondering where the garbage can is. 

Fortunately, the testing job is more about efficiency and organization that hearing, so I can handle it short term.    But I would definitely not be able to work in a quiet environment. 

And it's not just quiet environments that are a problem.  When I was working on the Stake RS committee with a group of ladies, I didn't even think about mentioning my hearing loss and the need to talk louder.  And it wasn't a problem in our small meetings in the home.  But when we were decorating and setting up in the big cultural hall, I realized that I was missing a lot and basically drawing a blank when someone would say something to me.  Finally I thought to mention that I was hard of hearing and that I didn't hear things well from a distance or when I wasn't looking at them.  (Maybe I deserve to be thought of as less than bright.  Not because of my hearing loss, but because I forget to mention that I have a hearing loss until it becomes an obvious issue.)

I always try to remember my experiences when I find myself being too quick to judge a person by their actions or their response to something.  We rarely know the whole story or what kind of physical or emotional handicaps they may be dealing with.   Being aware of and honest about our own vulnerabilities, definitely helps us feel more tolerant toward others.


 

Relieved

that my computer didn't actually die.  It just ran out of battery and would not work for two days.

We went to a repair shop, and I learned several things:

Sometimes if the battery is not working, even when it is plugged in, take the battery out and put it back in.  The battery sometimes just gets things jammed up.   Once we did that, and the computer was plugged in, it worked even without the battery in it.  But, the battery is basically dead and can't be recharged.   So, the options are to always keep it plugged in (but then when I move it to other plugs it goes down completely) or get a new battery.  So, the nice man showed how we could go on Ebay and find a new battery for $39.00  Much better than a new computer with lost information!

The other thing I learned (even though Gary will say he has already told me this) is that at least once a month you should let your battery go all the way down to no power.  If you keep it constantly plugged in and fully charged, or let it only go down to half or partial power, then the battery has memory and starts to think that it can only recharge that much and won't recharge any more than that.

I'm sure there is a life analogy to all of this, but as I sit here at testing it's not really coming to me.  So, if you have anything wise to share, please feel free.

Day 6: It's my last day in

Utah, and I've had such a fun mother's day!  Grandpa and I brought grandma breakfast in bed.  I helped peel the oranges and put the peanut butter on the bread.  We arranged the oranges around the toast into the shape of an M for mom.

 

I went to grandma and grandpa's church and I was so reverent.  A lot of kids talked about how much they loved their moms and how much they appreciated everything they did for them.  It made me want to be a good mommy some day.

When we got home from church, Grandpa, Aunt Natalie, and I made grandma a really nice breakfast (for dinner) of eggs and pancakes with peanut butter and bananas. 

The only yucky thing was the

ketchup dip grandpa made.

I was so glad that I got to spend time with

Annie's Aunt Natalie.

and I was also glad that I got to eat those yummy pancakes!

Grandma said she was feeling so special and loved by her grandchildren.  The Bishop's sent her a crown, so she could be "Queen for a Day."     Annie's family sent an "I Love Grandma" book with their voices reading the story.   It made me happy to hear Annie's voice as she and her brother and sisters read the story!

As grandma tucked me into Annie's sleeping bag for the last time, 

she told me she would really miss me.  

I will miss them, too, but I'm very excited to

 see Annie and all of Mrs. Bjorge's class again.

So I'm saying my goodbyes and flying out tomorrow.

And, they're sending me home with lots of kisses!

Day 5: More adventures

with Annie's Flat Eliza.

Remember I told you we were going to make cupcakes today? 

Well, we made a lot of cupcakes today! 

 (Grandma is making some for a wedding, 

which is why we made so many).

  I borrowed an apron from one of the "apron girls," and it fit just right!  

I got to add ingredients,

and mix them together.

And, best of all, I got to lick the spoon!

As you can see, I got a little bit on my hands and face.

 

I guess Annie does the same thing when she helps make cupcakes. 

Grandma showed me this picture she took of Annie in March.

When we went to get the mail, grandma was excited. 

We sat on the porch swing and tried to figure out what was

in the mother's day envelopes that came from Missouri and Oregon.

Annie had told me how much grandpa loved ketchup and mustard.

But I was still surprised when he tried to get me to dip food

 like oranges and veggie sticks in ketchup.   Yuck!

I had a fun surprise when the doorbell rang and a friend come to visit. 

Guess who it was?  It was Flat Stanley! 

He had come from Idaho to visit his Grandma and Grandpa Roylance.

Aunt Natalie came over and we went to get manicures at the Mall.

I got clear polish on my nails.

Then we went to the cemetery with Uncle Gary and Aunt Lynn.

We put flowers on Annie's great-grandma and grandpa's graves.  They were born almost 100 years ago.   Grandma and Grandpa told me how grateful they are that they had such good parents.

It's been a very busy day.   

Day 4: Today after school

we went to buy flowers to plant in Annie's grandma and grandpa's yard.  The FFA down at Provo High was having a sale of the plants they grew in the greenhouse.  I got to help pick out the flowers.  My favorite were the pink cosmos.

When we went to pay for them, the FFA girl was so excited when she saw "Flat Stanley."   I guess she knows all about him.  I had to explain that to her that I was kind of like him, but that my name was Flat Eliza and that I came to visit from Annie's kindergarten class in Oregon.

 While we were at Provo High

buying the flowers, Annie's grandma said she wanted to show me a spot where she spent lots of time when she and grandpa were in high school  (Can you believe they graduated from this school 39 years ago?  They are really old!)  This is the spot grandma showed me.  

It's the exit from the boys locker room.  (Don't worry, I didn't go in!)  Grandma said that after every sports event grandpa played in, she would wait outside for him to come out.  And she would wait, and wait, and wait.  And he was always the very last one out.  She said he hasn't changed in that way at all. 

I'm excited for tomorrow.  I get to help make cupcakes!  Tonight I'm going to help sew an apron.   The fabric looks like chocolate chips and chocolate chip cookies. 

Hmm, just looking at it makes me want some cookies.    

When I told Annie's grandma that I wanted cookies, 

she said maybe we would make some.

And, best of all, that we could

send some home with me!

Day 3: An Adventure

today with Grandpa.

Today, instead of going to the testing center, I went to school with grandpa.  It was lots of fun, because I didn't have to be so quiet.   I tried to get into grandpa's office, but it only opens with grandpa's fingerprint. His office is a high-security zone. He said something about a biometric lock. I tried my finger but it didn't work.

Once we were inside the office, I helped grandpa with his computer work. Grandpa has more computers than anyone I know!

Grandpa let me learn right along with his Financial Literacy students...

  

 and draw fun pictures on Grandpa's whiteboard...

Then I got to teach his students in the computer lab

the things that Grandpa taught me.... 

and at class break I skipped with Grandpa's students to their next class.

One of my favorite activities of the day was working with his finance students on investment strategies.

 Grandpa's Desktop Publishing class was especially kind to me
after I shared with them the investment strategies
we developed in Grandpa's Financial Literacy class.

I had lots of fun helping Emma and Stephen deploy
computer images from the Altiris management console.

Grandpa sure does a lot of things at his school! 

But, helping Chris build a computerized Lego Robot was the best! 

 I rode all over the school on this robot!

I can't wait until I'm old enough to go to High School :-)

 After a fun day at school we went down

 to the Riverwoods shopping center. 

While there, we ran into Zoltar, a fortune teller.

 

Guess what my fortune is?

"You will travel far,
but home will always be with

Mrs. Bjorge's kindergarten class."