Another

one of those random things that aren't so random.  

I posted about when Matt's daughter, Lexie, dropped by.   On Sunday, his wife and youngest son dropped by.  They told us that they had gone to a Sacrament meeting with some of their friends from Washington who have moved here. They were amazed when the speakers were our friends, the Nortons, who were speaking in their new ward.   

In an email from Robin, she said, "I almost cried when Mathias came up and introduced himself.  We had such a great talk with them.  We decided Matt must have sent them to see us and get a hug.  It was so fun.  It made giving a talk so worth it." 

I still feel such sorrow about Matt.  Suicide is such a heart breaker and so hard to understand.

I remember getting the word of his death while we were up in Sun River, Oregon with my siblings.   We were stunned.  We had no idea that he had been struggling. Gary had called Matt on his birthday, July 3, but Matt couldn't talk long because he was on his way to an appointment.   He told Gary that talking with his brother and Gary had made it a happy birthday.  

We found out 2 weeks later, when we drove up to the funeral and Gary spoke, that they had been going into a therapy session.  Merilyn said that if he could just have held on a little longer, they they could have gotten his medications under control.

I truly believe that when someone is in such a state to commit suicide, that they are in such a different place physically and emotionally that their minds are not right.  That sounds like a very simplistic statement, but I guess what I am trying to say is that I feel they are not in an accountable state.  

I just feel so sad that he is not here to enjoy his amazing children and grandchildren.  I told Merilyn that we missed Matt and think of him often.  She said they do, too, especially at special events like Matthias BYU graduation, which they were here for. It does comfort me, and I'm sure them, to know that he is probably watching over them and rejoicing in their lives.