It is interesting

how lives intersect.

Becky, a girl from our ward, moved to Taiwan last September with her husband and little boy for a five year job opportunity.  I got to know her well when we served together on the Relief Society activity committee.  She is so talented, artistic, and very meticulous in all she does.  

A couple of months ago, her ultrasound for a new pregnancy, showed that there were multiple problems with the little girl they were expecting.  To quote her in an email that was sent to the R.S. sisters:

 "The diagnosis a genetic disorder called skeletal dysplasia. . . The outcomes of the separate dysplasias are extremely varied. One end of the spectrum is Dwarfism. Dwarfs have a normal life span and generally have normal intellectual capacity. The other end of the spectrum is the fatal dysplasias. 50% to 60% of fetuses diagnosed with the blanket term of skeletal dysplasia will die either in utero or within 6 weeks of birth."

They had decided to come back to the U.S. to have the baby.  When I read about the problems, I emailed Becky and expressed my love and the hope that she would let me know when she got back into town so I could visit with her.  She called me from the hospital, and gave me an update.  

One of the concerns, at that time, was that the baby could be stillborn.   I hesitated sharing my experiences with our stillborn daughters, because I did not want to make it about me.  But, I also wanted to share the feelings I had with Annalee (where I was in denial and didn't hold or touch her), so that if the baby was stillborn, she would handle it differently than I had.  

They ended up taking the baby the next day by C-section at 32 weeks.   As it turns out, their little girl has a very extreme case, with multiple problems, and a life span of 1 to 5 years.   It is heartbreaking.

Anyway, this is a long story about lives intersecting.  In college, her husband lived with a family just 2 houses down from us.  I never knew him or saw him because he was going to a singles ward.  Then when Becky moved into the ward, she introduced herself said that she had worked for years at the BYU bookstore and that her boss had been our former bishop.  He had told her to look us up, and was devastated, as we were, when he passed away from cancer not long after.

When I visited her in the hospital after the baby was born, I asked what they were naming her.   She said they were naming her Annalee (which is also the name of the neighbor her husband lived with).   I had not told her the names our stillborn daughters, but it gave me a very sweet feeling when she told me the name.

Anyway, for the last few weeks as she has split time with her son and visiting her baby in the hospital, she has been cleaning out her house. She said that she feels she has so little control about most things in her life right now that she wants to be in control of what she can.  And that means getting rid of excess.  

The first things she called me about were paper goods left over from her wedding 10 years before.  When I told her I had a wedding coming up, she was delighted that they would be going to someone who could use them.  Since then, she has called several other times offering additional items that she wants to have a good home. 

Today she came by, with her adorable son, with more paper goods she had uncovered.  Her little boy is very bright and inquisitive.  He asked me if I had any kids, and I showed him our family picture and pointed out that he was the same age as Marshall.  He commented that I was probably sad that they didn't live close to me.  At one point he said that maybe he could come by sometime and he could be a grandchild for awhile.  (I think that suggestion came because he had a bag of candy from the candy buffet)

I guess I share all of this because it comes home to me that our lives are all part of a tapestry, woven together at different times and for different reasons.  That is not a unique or original thought at all, but one that has kept coming back to me as Becky and I have been mutually blessed by our friendship.