Crinkled Oranges

Monday, April 13, 2015

A woman I visit

teach told me about these instagram posts for the Book of Mormon.  A different set of scriptures are given, and there is a question to think about while you read them.  Then there is a General Conference talk to read that goes along with that theme.  Gary and I are really enjoying doing it.  I always want to read the scriptures, but I like a beginning, middle, and end, and just reading a few scriptures without a purpose doesn't work well for me.

So, tonight the Scripture was Mosiah 7: 8-17.   The questions to consider when reading it goes like this.  "There are many temporal things that can bring us into bondage. What is one thing that puts you in bondage?  For the next 30 days, diligently work on this weakness and pray to have it become a strength in your life.   Then it had us read a talk by Matthew Holland in October 1997.  That is a very thought provoking talk.

So Gary and I were trying to pin down what it is that puts us in bondage.  We both thought of the tendencies to be negative, critical, and judgmental.  Most of the behaviors that we discussed are as a result of a either being selfish or having a prideful heart.   Pride is a big umbrella for a lot of negative behaviors.

I told Gary that I am still thinking on the specifics of mine.  It is hard to tell what comes first, the behavior or the result of the behavior.  It can be a vicious cycle.  

I think I am in bondage with my somewhat OCD attitudes. I don't want to stop because "there cannot be too much of a good thing, right?"  Add idealism and a little bit of a perfectionism to the attitude, and that can be a recipe for bondage.   The Bondage of nothing ever being enough.  Getting distracted by things that matter less than those that matter more, because you can't fix them.  Feeling overwhelmed with all of the hard things you see in life and figuring that since you can't do anything about it you just don't think about it.   So, my binding mode of operation seems to be "Keep busy with non-essentials so you don't have to do anything important, because it would be just a drop in the bucket anyway."
I'm just kind of rambling trying to understand.  I don't think I do.  But the challenge was given with this assignment to, for the next 30 days, diligently work on this weakness and pray to have it become a strength in your life.

So my mantra for the next 30 days will be a quote I heard a long time ago.  "Don't withhold generosity."   So, if I have a thought to do something nice, do it.  It doesn't have to be perfect and it may not even make a difference, but do it.  Don't close your heart to what matters and seek distractions with what doesn't matter.

I'll probably read this tomorrow and go, "What was I talking about?"


1 comment:

Tom Anderson said...

I think a self-examination like the one in your blog speaks volumes about your ability to throw off pride and take a good hard look at yourself. To bad more of us cannot do what you can. Good for you. Oh, and I did follow what you were saying and saying so well. Socrates said: "The unexamined life is not life at all." So your life is full.