But, it is interesting to see where your mind goes when you worry that you may have a serious health issue with your heart.
It all started with my legs, feet, and joints swelling very quickly. My weight went up about 10 lbs in a few days (and it really hasn't come down), and I have felt short of breath.
After being worried about it, I went into the Dr. He was a little concerned by what he was seeing, and sent me for a chest x-ray and blood test. Those came back fine, but just to make sure, he sent me to do a treadmill stress test. I couldn't pass the test because I couldn't keep going and get my heart rate above 185 (and I felt like I was going to die on the spot). But I've never had good endurance, so that is nothing new.
So because that was inconclusive, they had me get an echocardiogram, which I did Thursday. That came back showing that my heart was healthy. Which is really good news, because anyone who knows the family, knows of our family history with heart disease. I also appreciated having my nephew, Bryce (who does echocardiograms) giving me some personal attention.
I haven't started getting the bills yet, so along with the tests being unnecessary, I have no doubt it will also be expensive. But it is very reassuring. As for what the problem is, I'm actually wondering if I had an allergic reaction to something or had a spider bite (I had a rash also), as the swelling is going down slowly and I am having more energy.
Anyway, back to what you think about when you really face your mortality.
My first thought was that I don't want to be the cause of anyone being sad. So when my time does come, don't be sad. Just remember how blessed I've been.
Then I thought that I need to get my house in order and all my messes cleaned up. I don't want someone else to have to clean up my messes.
Then I thought of all that I would miss with those I love. But I also know that I will still be able to be a part of that even when I am gone.
Then I thought that there are a lot of things I need and want to change about myself before I die. So I'm glad I have some more time to work on those.
So there are no worries, it was just kind of a wake up call. I didn't want to worry anyone unnecessarily, and I'm very glad it wasn't necessary. Now I just need to make good on all the things I was hoping I had more time for.
Life is good.