Connie

I very seldom go to facebook.  It seems overwhelming to me, and I always feel I have a lot of catching up to do.  But a few weeks ago I got a facebook notification that I was invited to a memorial service for Connie, a girl I went to school with.  At first I thought it was a joke, but when I went on I saw that indeed she had passed away.  I felt so sad that I had not known she was sick again.

I had only known Connie slightly during high school.  But every time I've seen her since then, she's been so friendly and outgoing and has been very involved with our high school reunions.   She has a son Natalie's age, who was in the high school plays with her, so I've seen her a little more in recent years.  When our friend, Matt, died, Connie was very upset and wanted a copy of the talk Gary gave at the funeral. She commented to me that she had read it over and over. She shared something with me about that that I had never known before. 

Connie told me that when she was first married, she and her husband lived in the same apartment complex in Salt Lake as Matt had.  She said that she had put on a lot of weight, was having health problems, felt depressed, and just wanted to stay in and not be around people.  She said of Matt,  “He saved my life.”  Matt had called and come by a few times and encouraged her to come out and be with people.  She said she would always remember him for that.  His encouragement made her decide to go out and make a difference to others instead of staying home and feeling sad.  

Last November Connie dropped by the house to say hello.  We talked for about an hour.  She told me about the uterine cancer she had overcome and was elated because, during the cancer surgery, the Dr. had also removed 35 pounds of belly fat.  She said she still wanted to lose more weight, but that she was wearing a belt and could see her legs for the first time in years.  She was so happy.  I wish I had followed up with her and known that cancer had returned.  When I went to the viewing, her son said that everything went downhill about 2 months ago and that the cancer had gone to her brain.

Connie was an inspiration to me, because even though she struggled with her health and appearance all her life, she made a decision to embrace life,  She had a smile and laugh that radiated.  Finding out that it was Matt whose encouragement helped her to make that decision, has been a reminder to me that little kindnesses and encouragements can, and do, make a difference in others lives. 

I always remember a phrase I heard in a talk once.  "Never withhold generosity."  If you have a generous thought or nudging of the heart, act upon it.  Acknowledge, encourage, and give thanks. There are so many times when I have good intentions and plan to follow through on generous thoughts.   But more often than not, the connection is lost somewhere between the thought and the follow through.  Since her visit last November, I've thought several times about following up with Connie and seeing how she was.  I wish I had.   Her death has reminded me of the importance of following through with our "generous" thoughts--be it a phone call, a note, or even just an expression of gratitude or comfort.