We all went to the graveside and each put a flower and a nut (in honor of our nut tradition) on the casket. We were standing in 20 degree weather for more than an hour, and our feet were frozen, but our hearts were warm.
To be honest, going to the graveside was not something I was looking forward to. Sometimes denial and avoidance sound much easier. Sometimes we don't know what to do or say, or are afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing. But I also know how much support is needed for those feeling loss and heartache.
After the service, Mary's mom (who I think is 90)) thanked Judy for her words. She basically said, "During this whole week I have found no peace, my heart has been heavy and I have thought I can't get through this. When I heard your talk representing all of Mary's friends and heard your loving memories of Mary, and I saw all of you here to support our family and your love of Mary, I finally found peace. I can go on and I know Mary was loved my many, especially her beautiful friends. Thank you so much to everyone for being here." That brought tears to my eyes to know that we had helped ease a mother's heartache.
It reminds me of a quote by T.S. Elliot that I kept on my fridge for many years:
"What do we live for; if not to make life less difficult for others?"
4 comments:
Very nice entry. It is all very sad.
Annette, it is through tears I'm looking at all the pictures you posted from Saturday. In a word or two, "thank you". You gals honored Mary, and it touched her family. Although I've been gone from Utah for 25 years, I must say, you gals all looked beautiful to me. It made me miss you all so much. God Bless!.......and love to you all, Linda
What an incredible tribute. Thank you for sharing it.
I didn't have much of a relationship with Mary. She was a friend as all of you are my friends, and it hurts too lose friends this way. Hey Annette, on a lighter moment, are you doing what I think your doing?
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