After having our stillborn daughter, Annalee, in February of 1979, we were told that if we monitored another pregnancy carefully we could probably have a healthy baby.
When we had our first amniocentesis at five months, it was apparent that the baby was in trouble. During the course of the next two and a half months we had three intra-uterine transfusions on the baby in Salt Lake at the University Hosptial. The hope was to get the baby to 36 weeks (at the time we didn't know she was a girl). I'm sure technology and treatment for RH incompatible babies is much more advanced now, but one method for determining when the next transfusion was needed was counting how many times the baby moved in an hour. It was a very stressful time. I spent the last two weeks in the hospital in Salt Lake, where they would come in every few hours to check the heartbeat. It was during that time that I didn't feel movement for a half hour and they came in, checked for the heartbeat, and found none. After taking an ultrasound, it was confirmed that she had died. That was at about 3 in the morning, and I called Gary at home. The next morning they started the induction. Because of my experience with Annalee, there was one thing that I kept repeating to everyone who came in the room:
“I’m going to hold the baby.” Even when I got preeclampsia (toxemia) during labor, gained 25 pounds of fluid, and had an excruciating headache, that was the only thing on my mind. When she was born she weighed 3 ½ pounds, and I did hold her. She was perfect. Holding her did so much to help in the healing.
I do wish I had some photos.
Years ago I bought a collectible plate
that touched my heart the first time I saw it.
The picture reminds me of our
two daughters in heaven.
***
6 comments:
Thanks Mom for posting this. I often think about my two other sisters and look forward to meeting them someday. Eliza was talking about them the other day (don't remember how the subject came up), but I try to keep them in remembrance. Love you
I'm really glad you're telling of each of their births. For so many years I was too young to know the details and wouldn't have appreciated what you went through. Now, as a mother, every time you mention having to time the movements it breaks my heart. I admire the strength you have to have gone through all of that so gracefully. The last couple of years I've started putting Emily and Annalee's birthday's in my planner so that I can at least remember them on that day. Thanks for the post. Love, Misty
Annette- Seriously your experiences make me cry. There is now a group of professional photographers that will come in and take photos of still-born babies with their families or the babies that are going to die quickly after birth for free. When I learned about this charity I really thought that was a special idea. Recognizing the birth despite the pain is so important. I love your blog and your honesty.
Only a mom can feel that pain and joy. It was very touching. Thanks for sharing that. Love you. Tom
Oh, Annette, this breaks my little heart. I don't know how you did it. We lost three in a row but the longest I carried one was five months, a whole world of difference. It took me years to heal, as I imagine it did you too. They are never out of your heart--thank goodness we have promises.
Thanks for sharing these experiences. I'm bawling! With our third due next week I can't imagine the heartache. How comforting it is to know that you'll see them again, those two beautiful angels. What a strength you are!
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